Yesterday she didn't look back

first day of kindergarten, 2014

I take my baby girl to school every afternoon and she always smiles and waves, then a few steps later turns, waves and blows me a kiss.

Except yesterday she didn't look back.

I cried.

My eyes stung as I left the school.  It was the first day I've cried at dropoff since the first day of school.  I was proud of her for growing up but sad that the days since the first day to this day were a blur.

What had we done in that amount of time? Like a leaky faucet they just dripped and dripped into a gallon of days and weeks and months.

But today she DID.

Today I dropped her off and didn't expect the look or the second look or the kiss, but she did it.  And I figured out that nothing is the end, not really.  Even when a phase passes or a door is closed, something remains.  We need our parents even when we're grown.  Things change but rarely go away completely.

I also learned to cherish each day.  Each one, since I don't know when the last will be.

She might need smile-wave-kiss routine less now, but from time to time she will and that's great.  I'll be here for her as long or as infrequently as she wants it.  I love her.  I love being a mom.  I am so glad for the chance and for every day of the smile-wave-kiss.