I can't wait

The subject of Mother's Day came up.  I said it was one of my favorite days of the year.

Princess said "Mine too!"

"Oh really?" I asked her.  "Why?"

"Because we get to jump on the bed and wake you up.  And give you food".

Princess is five!

Pretty cool to have a birthday when Daddy is home on Spring Break. We played ALL DAY.

First the Aviary:

Yeah, it was mating season and the peacocks were giving quite the show.

Then we ate and shopped and shopped and ate.

Her daddy spoiled her at Build-a-Bear:

And then the rest of her extended family spoiled her some more.

Princesses & frogs, shoes, horses, instruments, Legos, and too much candy.

After 5 years I can still remember how shocked I was when they announced "it's a GIRL!" My life has never been the same since. 

Right before I delivered I was really hoping for a boy because I was comfortable with boys and was in total boy mode.  I knew what I was getting into.  I knew a girl would be too scary.  Me, the example?  I liked Daddy being the one to turn the kids heads toward.  My weaknesses, passed down another generation?  Yikes!  I didn't want to face the possibility. 

As I have grown into a "girl mom" I am relishing the sweetness of these womanly qualities in bud form.  A nurturing preschooler who thankfully picks up some of my strengths. 

I love her - everything about her. 

She no longer scares me.  She is an anchor to me who keeps me grounded and in check.  Thankfully a wise heavenly father had faith in me and my abilities when I didn't have it for myself.  I am grateful every day for the little girl who is this very minute upstairs fast asleep in her nightgown and new sparkly pink shoes.

Labor Day?

All morning Monday. Stop.


All night Monday. Stop.


This is exhausting.

Obviously the baby is telling us the time is right. But we also spent a nervous Saturday morning at the hospital over the weekend, and saw the midwife on Monday.

Due to lots of factors and after much prayer we are headed for a repeat caesarean in 24 hours. It will be the safest thing for the baby right now. We are so excited that the time is finally here. We cannot wait to meet baby #5!

Look for details forthcoming!

So far, so good

Well, my midwife appt went well today. Blood pressure and baby are looking good, and I am very grateful to not be "against the clock", at least for right now. Still hoping for normal spontaneous labor!

Let's see; it's 6am.

I couldn't sleep anymore at about 4, got tired of watching the news about the inauguration, got up at 5. So far I have cleaned the bathroom sink, toilet, shower, and reorganized the linen closet and under the sink, tossed out expired meds, consolidated our cleaning products/rags...

Crazy woman? or nesting?

BP is high again...trying to get things under control. If not lowered and if I don't start labor on my own, my chances of VBAC are pretty much gone. I've never gone early before, but I'm hoping for it this time!

Still here

I'm here, just nothing much to say.

Swollen, tired, a bit uncomfortable, but content.

I feel a lot of peace right now. Usually with 3 weeks to go I am antsy, irritable and very overwhelmed with things I feel I need to do but physically can't. But I do feel quite ready right now, despite the fact that the bassinet is still in storage and the onesies are not freshly laundered.

I am trying to surround myself with positive vibes, a little good mo-jo, if you will. And I guess it's working. I just want to block out anything sapping my baby energy and bringing me down.

So excuse me while I'm "in the zone". Even if that zone is on the couch surrounded by water bottles while holding the DVD remote with my cankles up on the ottoman.

32 Weeks

I'm doing a bit of bedrest for a day or two. Just making sure my little contractions are practice ones and not going anywhere.

After a short episode yesterday they seem to have died down.

We are pretty sure everything is okay - yes, I have plenty of people taking care of me :)

Just going to guzzle water and put my feet up....

25 weeks

Time flies

I can't believe how fast this pregnancy is going. I remember with my first baby it was torture just waiting long enough to wear maternity clothes. It was the longest pregnancy in history. He was born in Feb; we had the nursery ready to go in Sept!

Now I am so focused on *life* that I am confident this baby will come WAY before we are ready. I'll be lucky to find all the onesies before getting out of the hospital. I get weekly emails on what is happening with the baby's development, etc, and I'm always like "Oh yeah - I'm another week along!"

And knowing this is our last makes me want to savor it just a bit more, which is not happening much. In fact, feeling not so sick anymore almost makes me forget I'm expecting at all.

Except my clothes don't fit.

Do I need my maternity jumper out already?

Times change.

Princess #2 on her way

Woo Hoo!!

Here is a picture of her (profile, lying down, looking left).

Here's the "proof". Apparently it was obvious. She was spread eagle.


So, what's our take on the whole thing?

We are thrilled, number one!!! Shocked, but thrilled. We were convinced we were going there only to verify it was a boy. We both felt that way. Kids all hoped for a girl and are deliriously happy.

And man, Princess has cute clothes and I'm so excited they will be worn again!

Now when it comes to the decision to find out, and open the proverbial Christmas present early, the jury is still out. I feel....funny. Weird.

Do I feel like I cheated? Yeah, I do.

And keep in mind that I really thought it was a boy, so I've been trying to let go of that "boy brain" for 48 hours now.

The baby was active last night and I told hubby, referring to "her" for the first time that way and it was so strange. It said "it" first and corrected myself. All our babies have only been "they", "it" or "baby". Always. So it will take some getting used to.

We have always had major trouble picking boy names, so that's a blessing I suppose. 4 months of agony we don't need to experience.

I'm trying to define my feelings right now. The only thing I can really say is that I feel...lacking, maybe? Every time my doctor, midwife or husband yells out "It's a BOY" or "It's a GIRL" to me, it is followed by a slippery, semi-blue, sometimes crying, always lovely bouncing baby being placed in my waiting hungry arms.

So I feel a little excited and a little empty. I feel like I had half a baby on Monday, and I get to wait out 19 weeks for the rest of it. Do I sound like a lunatic? Most likely. After all, much more than half of people in America find out what they are having. Maybe after doing it the surprise way so many times I just got in that mode and can't get out.

Last night Bugs said "Mom, I want the baby so bad! I wish we didn't find out, because now we have to wait forever." Maybe he said what I feel too prideful to say. I mulled over this decision for the longest time. I went back and forth like a tennis ball for 2 years or so. I knew I wanted to know, didn't I? At least I thought so....

Is the suspense killing you?

Baby poll

See my sidebar for a gender poll. What's your guess?

17 weeks

Pop.

Yeah, last week I could, you know, wear my own clothes.

This week, not so much.

I haven't gained any weight yet, but I swear I wasn't this uncomfortable at 17 weeks before. Sleeping is already hurting my hips, as I toss from side to side all night. Waistbands are driving me nuts. This will be a long 5 months.

Hubby brought out the good ole 'ternity bin for me.

Unfortunately it's still over 90 degrees and all my stuff is winter. I have winter babies. I took inventory: 5 long sleeve shirts, 3 short sleeve shirts (one is stained and one is torn) and two pants. Yep, and one of those is separating along the whole belly panel thing.

Not pretty, ladies and gentleman.

On ebay last night I grabbed a pair of jeans and two shirts. Will that last me? Let's hope. I forget how fun it is to have two outfits and washing them every other day! Yahoo!!

Feelin' Good

Life is good. As I move into my second trimester things are looking rosy again. My hubby smells better (ha ha!). My kids are back to getting the occasional real meal. It's like I feel like myself again! I even have a new calling at church which renews my spirit and I am looking forward to serving in a new way.

Last weekend was our anniversary and we got to stretch it out over about three days which was very cool. Thanks to all three sisters who facilitated the weekend in one way or another we were able to go to the temple to do sealings, The Roof (a fabulous restaurant downtown), and spend a night at the Alaskan Inn in Ogden Canyon. I recommend both highly!


This picture was taken from our table during dinner:





It was all very beautiful and it was great to do something a bit extravagant (for us at least), as the next couple years with a baby won't allow us to be away as easily.

Happy News

New baby on the way...EDD 1/30/09

Maybe I'm just bad at keeping secrets. Or maybe I'm tired of making up excuses for my feeling lousy and being exhausted. But yes, we are adding one more to our family. We are so excited!

We have known for a while that there was another small one to come to us, but for whatever reason it took a bit longer than expected (Princess will be almost 4). We are so thankful for this blessing, though, and look forward to rounding out our family and feeling complete.

So that's why my posts have slowed down a bit, and a lot less substance overall. But now you can understand!