
Pondering questions...
Balance. The answer to happiness in the life of a woman, right?
Is that painting with too broad of a brush?
Since our work is never done, when are we finished with
anything?
If the laundry hampers are never empty and the dishes are being dirtied as I wash them then when do I know I have done enough?
When my husband finishes a full, exhausting day at school, teaching and moulding young minds, he works for an extra hour or two and drives home. He then becomes a dad, and assumes all of those responsibilities, as well as church assignments and hopefully a bit of relaxation.
My life does not have compartments. I do not turn off being one thing and drive to another. So while I revel in the flexibility of my days, I also struggle with the challenge of knowing when I have done enough. I have a love affair with to-do lists; mostly the sense of accomplishment that comes from
crossing things off. Being finished.
When can I watch a show on TV without feeling the guilt pulling me from the bedroom into the kitchen? Or how do I feel good about diving into that book on my nightstand while there are two loads of clothes wrinkling in their respective baskets?
I want that little "Hey slacker! You haven't earned a vacation yet" voice in my head to shut off sometimes. Once in a while can't a girl have a tired, lazy day?
Sherri Dew, former RS leader and revered author once said :
"We no longer have the luxury of spending our energy on anything that does not lead us and our families to Christ."Hello? Anyone else feel the need to jump headfirst into the guilt pool with me?
I conciously try to make wiggle room in my life. I like
not being busy. Some people work better that way. Some need to be busy. I do not. I love knowing that if my sick child calls from school, there is a 99% chance that whatever I am working on can easily be postponed. I don't like my calendar all full - it stresses me out. I dislike appointments, driving, and sometimes (gasp!) shopping.
So I am perfectly suited for home.
Cooking is something I love and am good at. Laundry sorting is therapuetic to me. Vacuuming is soothing and enjoyable.
While I love it within these walls, though, too often the guilt of what I'm NOT doing gets in the way of the joy. I
am working on getting there. Just as soon as I find balance.